Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Dear Mr. Allen,

Did you know that I love you? Because I really do.
Last night, when you said you didn't understand why anyone was nervous on their wedding day, it made me love you even more. Because I wasn't nervous the day of our wedding. I was excited, and exhilarated and relived that I was finally able to call you my husband. And I'm glad that you were also not nervous. You said that people shouldn't be nervous because they have already made a commitment, and that they were just making it official on their wedding day. And more than just believing what you were saying, I actually knew you believed it because you lived it.
Do you remember when I freaked out (all the times) when we were engaged? And you literally would not let me break up with you? Because it wasn't even an option? You know what? I don't freak out anymore. And I think its because I know it would end with me feeling dumb for freaking out in the first place. Because you are wonderful. And amazing. And I literally cannot picture my life being married to anyone else, because who else would put all my clothes in the hamper, and let me eat ramen for 3 meals in a row because I don't want to eat anything else, and save a red laffy taffy for me, and rub my back when I'm sad, and scratch my back? Who else would put up with me? No one. Which isn't the only reason that we are married, but man, I sure am glad that you and I found each other again. And that we were both the people we needed to be to make this work.
This whole Army thing is nuts. You could be gone! For 4-6 months! And while I would miss you every single day, and probably sleep with 10 pillows to make up for the lack of you in bed, and possibly cry into a bowl of ice cream while watching army wives, I know that you'll be gone not just for you, but for me, and our family, and our future. And I love that you are willing to sacrifice for that. That you are going to do whatever it takes to make sure we have a good life.
You know when you try to seduce me by kissing me when I'm sitting on the couch? And it almost always works? I like that. I also like that when I come to bed after you are asleep, sometimes, and these are the times I love the most, you roll over and snuggle up to me, and put your arms around my tummy and pull me tight to you. And if you don't do it, and I ask you to, you do it then too. And we fit together, me and my short self just fits with you and your tall skinny self. And I love that. I love you. And I hope that when I'm pregnant and huge, you will find a way to bring me close, even tho I'll weight approx a million pounds. Because as much as we don't like snuggling when we are sleeping, snuggling helps me go to sleep more than anything. Even sleeping pills! Get that! YOU are better than DRUGS!
I just wanted to let you know all this because even tho I tell you, I think seeing it in writing will help you realize that I'm for real. And that I do love you. And will always love you. And that you make me happy and whole. Plus, its fun to make all our friends who read this throw up a little. Haha.

1 comment:

Calista said...

That's so true about being nervous on your wedding day. Danny and I weren't nervous about getting married. I was nervous though that the downpour of rain wouldn't stop in time for our pictures. :P