Wednesday, August 1, 2012


You know, there are different kinds of friendship. I would like to tell you about the kind I have with these girls. 
This is Stevi, Steph and myself, and their babies.... Emery and Paisley. Stevi Steph and I lived on the same floor in DT, our now demolished dorms at BYU. We got married the same Summer. We are friends who shared things like food, clothes, and opinions on boyfriends and school. 
I went to Georgia to meet this little nugget, and we (Steph, me and Emery) drove 2 1/2 hours to North Carolina make it a mini-reunion with the three of us - the Summer of the S girls. We talked. And we talked some more. And I wish we could have stayed longer with the three of us. We made Panini's and just sat around and talked. And I have never had a better time. 
I miss this. This girlfriendship that comes with knowing eachother and growing though the most pivotal years of your life together. I have great friends here - I have great friends in other places, but these girls hold a special place in my heart and life because they have seen me grow and stretch from a freshman into a wife. They have seen me be the same a different and they love me still. 
It is crazy for me to think they are MOMS. They have BABIES. And it is beautiful to me that while we are in different stages of life, it doesn't mean that we can't be friends nor does it mean that we don't have anything in common. We can still talk. We can still laugh. And we still know eachother even if we can't see eachother near as often as we would like. 
Can I just tell you how much I needed this trip? Needed to be reaffirmed that I am still the same person, and that not only is that okay, it is accepted and loved and doesn't mean a thing - other than it is the truth. It was also amazing to compare myself, and who I am and was against these girls, and who they are and were. I love that we haven't grown up and away from each other, but just up, and the same distance apart. And we are still friends. And we can still have the same kind of conversations. And I needed that.
Most of my trip was spent in Atlanta, being denied entrance to Burger places because someone didn't bring their ID, eating a ridiculous amount of dessert, and just watching one of my friends be a Mom. It was a beautiful, beautiful thing to see her interact with her daughter.
In the many emails back and forth to prepare and plan for the trip, Steph told me that her goal was to make me want a baby. Well, she succeeded. I love this little child so much I want one just like her! Just not right now (sorry to dissapoint, Steph!). And I want to be a Mom with many of the qualities of my friend. I was amazed by her patience, her flexibility, and the way she spoke to her dear daughter in a way that was full of respect and love. I can't explain to you how good it was for me to spend time around this. How much of an example her Mothering was to me. How much more I have to learn and grow before I am ready to be one myself. How great it was to just hang out most of the days, and just get to see how she was as a Mom, as a Wife, and most of all as my friend. 

I slept in the Hoyt's living room for a few nights, and when it was time to go I felt sad, because it felt like someplace I belonged. Not that I wasn't happy to see my Husband and my own, non-inflated bed when I got home, but it is saying something that I basically intruded upon their house and didn't feel like an intruder. I  felt welcomed, loved and wanted. And this is what friendship is to me. It is not a burden. It is not a chore. It is something that comes from a place in our hearts that is full of love and acceptance. And I had that there. 

We talked about things that would normally get eye rolls or exclamations of surprise and disappointment from other friends. We got deep about things that I have only talked to  very few other people about. And because of the deep history we share, because of the level we just KNOW each other, it was as normal as talking about Carrie Underwood's legs. It wasn't odd to talk about things that were so close to my heart, that I felt naked admitting them to another person - because I knew that person loves me so unconditionally, that she loves me, naked or not! She sees my flaws, she sees my weakness, and yet she is still my friend. 

Guys, I know this probably sounds like a love letter to some girls, but that is what it is. I love my friends. I am SO glad I got to go see them, and I know that even it is 2 1/2 more years before I am able to see them again that it will be the same - full of more hours of talking, understanding, and acceptance. I just feel blessed that I have these friendships - the ones that extend and survive without constant physical proximity. We talked a lot about how and why we have this kind of friendship and nothing was decided on, but I sure am glad it is there. Because I need it. And I think they do to.

The End.

1 comment:

Net said...

You're awesome. I love that you wrote a love letter to your friends. :)
Miss you!!