Friday, February 19, 2010

Commentary on the Olympics

BAAAAH.
I don't feel good.
At least I have the Olympics to keep me company.

DID YOU SEE FIGURE SKATING LAST NIGHT?!?!
Marie and I kept up a running commentary.
Among the highlights?

(on discussing my parents not watching the Olympics)
Me: I was like, you are UNAMERICAN!! DO YOU LOVE HITLER?
marie.cameron: hahaha THEY DEFINITELY ARE ACTING LIKE IT
me: and they were like, we didn't raise you to love gay me and i was like, well, they are MORE AMERICAN THAN YOU
marie.cameron: you should have been like JESUS TAUGHT ME TO LOVE EVERYONE
me: haha
marie.cameron: 'cept foreigners

(we don't just love the Winter Olympics)
me: how many olympians actually eat mcdonalds?
marie.cameron: michael phelps
me: i guessss but its so unhealthy
marie.cameron: he's like a goat he eats everything and anything
me: haha and he's still got such a rockin' bod its redic
marie.cameron: for real.

(on how we are better than most of the snowboarders)
marie.cameron: I like that they have 2 runs
me: me too..... see, she was so low that it just doesn't look that cool. the higher they are in the air, the better it looks
marie.cameron: YEAH. when I do the halfpipe I get a ton of air
me: i know geez whats up with these olympians?
marie.cameron: stupid

(on our view of the music they play during the skating events)
me: isn't this the music from those depression commercials? where they blend into their surroundings?
marie.cameron: hahaha, probably


(on the outfits)
me: phantom? he has no mask on. lame
marie.cameron: haha
me: minus 10 points for incorrect outfit
marie.cameron: HE NEEDS A CAPE
me: YES! where is Johnny Weir when you need him? that boy knows how to accesorize


(on how we are going to get an olympic metal in our home)
marie.cameron: I think I'm going to base my child's birth on giving them the perfect age to hit several olympics
me: so you want to have them within a year of an olympics and you have to decide what sport you want them to compete in prior because that will affect the year for summer/winter
marie.cameron: yeah you're right, probably summer. I don't want to live in a highly snowy area. or drive them to the rink every morning
me: but you'd get to go to austrlia every summer to train


(more outfit talk)
marie.cameron: also why does his vest have to be pink? couldn't it be like... blue?
me: why did they put pockets in those pants? what could he possibly be holding when he is iceskating?
marie.cameron: SO HE CAN WEAR THEM AGAIN, DUH. men's figure skating outfits are the male version of bridesmaid's dresses

(on our fav flamboyant iceskater)
marie.cameron: I'm talking to my friend julio right nowand he was like "what is with this girl ice skating"
me: its johnny weir! i like how the white shows off his butt

(on THE russian)
me: WHO WILL WIN?!?!
marie.cameron: I hate him. I don't want him to win
me: haha. i love your hatred of him. i kindof want him to win because he is so hardcore
marie.cameron: nope
get a haircut
you and bob costas
get a haircut


(on what we we do if we were in charge)
me: you know, skating should be more like snowboardingthey make up their own jumps. the bigger you go, the better the score. it should be all jump-based. no one cares about what you do inbetween as long as you don't fall
marie.cameron: yeahhh






I love my Marie.
I love the Olympics.
I love AMERICA.

The end.

1 comment:

siovhan said...

this is HYSTERICAL.