where I taught the lesson to the girls at church and I ended up crying like a little baby.
Guys, my calling is hard.
I never thought it would be so hard.
I think maybe its espicically hard for me because I was LITERALLY sitting in the exact spot these girls sat 5 years ago. I was in this ward. I went to that school. I know how hard it is. And I know how easy it is to fail.
And I know how hard it is to do whats right.
And I know how important it is to do it anyways.
I don't know what to say to these girls to make them understand that what they are doing now - right now - matters. That it matters in an eternal sense.
I met my husband when I was 16 years old. I had no idea I would end up marrying him. In fact, if you asked me, I would have laughed in your face. He was arrogant. I thought I was better than him. And while he was a stellar kisser, he didn't want the same things I did in life. I just thought we'd date for a while and be done. And we did.
And yet, here I am, 7 years from the time we met, married and loving him every day of my life. I cannot begin to tell you the blessing this man is in my life. He puts up with things no one else in the world would -from my constant messes to leaving every door open, to being selfish to tickling him. He knows me better than anyone and today I found out some devastating news and he said all the right things and comforted me in ways that I didn't know I needed. He talked to me and held my had and let me cry. And I know it may seem like a huge jump, but I wouldn't be here without parents.
No, I'm not talking about the ill-fated accidental blind-date that was how I met David as a result of my Mother. I am talking about how my parents grounded me when I broke the rules. How I wasn't allowed to see my "boyfriend" before we were both 16. How I never missed curfew because I knew my parents would hold up to their end of the threats of what would happen if I did. And how they let me know, even if they were punishing me, that they loved me.
If it weren't for that, I would have done even MORE stupid stuff than I did. I told the girls today that the reason I didn't mess up big wasn't because I had some stellar testimony and knew that if I didn't follow the "rules" I would have sorrow, but because I knew if I didn't follow them I would get grounded. And ya know what? If I had broken more rules, I wouldn't be where I am now, married to my best friend. I wish I could convey to them, and their parents for that matter, the importance of following rules even if you don't undrestand or agree with the why. Parents need to have consequences for their children and children need to know that their parents will stand by their word. They won't back down and they won't apologize for punishing their kids. And I know that they all think it is SOOO far off, but I was 3 years older than some of them when I got married. And that, my friends, is a very short amount of time.
When you do stupid things and break commandments or laws, your are limiting your future. You may not see it then. You may only view the short term. But at some point in your life, wouldn't it be great to have the choices? Instead of having made them when you were 15 and stupid beyond belief? I know I for one want to leave some choices to my older, wiser self. I don't want to make them all now. And I sure wish I could take back some of the choices my younger, stupider self made. However, I am so greatful that stupid, stupid girl didn't make more stupid decisions. And I wish there was some way for me to convey to the girls's at church this and for them to actually belive me. And do what I say. And be good.
Oh man. I wish. I wish so hard.