Thursday, August 8, 2013

5 years

So, we got a new computer, right? And we put all of our wedding photos on it and I have been looking at them and laughing and laughing at all the ridiculous shots of the two of us that were included in the 3000 that we have. And it made me think: These are not the photos that people post to facebook albums, these are not the photos that are repinned on pinterest, these are the photos that capture us at our "worst" (photogenic) moments and they are truly what our wedding day was.

It also made me think of what moments make up our marriage - what has truly been the moments in the last 5 years that have been the ones that have made up what we have become, and I have thought of many. I want to talk about a few. 

One of the first ones that springs to mind is all of the giggling in bed when we are both sleep deprived. It generally starts when one of us is trying to be grumpy (okay, it usually starts when I am trying to be grumpy) but instead of giving in, the other just starts acting rediculous. David does rediculous so very well. He makes the most outrageous faces and has the ability to turn his neck into nothing and squish his entire face into the most unappealing thing you have ever seen. And it makes me laugh every time. And then we giggle and then if I'm really grumpy, we'll start wresting (I try to beat him up, and he laughs and pins me down) and then we laugh some more. 

Another one is all the times that I have been an idiot by forgetting to do something I was supposed to do, or being lazy when I was supposed to be doing something, or generally just not doing things I'm supposed to be doing (this is a common theme, ovbs) and David will get SO exasperated at me, but then he is like, well, okay. Then he gets over it. 

On the other hand, you have me, who when David doesn't do something he said he would do goes into total freak-out meltdown mode. David also gets exasperated with me in these instances, but he just stays calm and waits until I am done freaking out and then graciously accepts my apology for freaking out. (can you tell who is the long-suffering one in this marriage?)

There are all the times that we will both be in bed, and then I roll over to him and say "Will you do me a favor?" and then proceed to ask him to do things like get me some advil or rub my feet and he actually gets out of bed and does it for me. 

All the hand holding we do is an important part. The way we hold hands is my favorite when we are walking. A lot of times our hands just rub together and we aren't actually grabby. David never has sweaty palms, which is the best. I love his hands very muchly, and love holding them in mine even more. 

There is the stressing about money that happens in every marriage, I am sure. We just made it out of 5 years of being pretty near broke, and with David making money now, we aren't quite sure what to do with all of it, or how to budget it. Figuring it out is one of those very real things about marriage. 

Bickering about where to eat dinner when we got out is one we are great at. We are the WORST at deciding things like this, and generally it starts a quazi-fight with both of us saying we won't pick then ending up at the place one of us said in the start. 

The things that make up our marriage include talking in bed late at night about very serious things, things that make us cry sometimes, things that we both worry about, things that we have kept in for too long. These conversations are the ones that make you both secretly worry that you aren't with the right person, but after you talk it though, you realize you are in exactly the right relationship for your life. 

A part of our marriage no one sees, but that makes it wonderful, is discussing, in depth and at length, the future punishments our unconcived children will have when they inevitably break rules, and how our parenting stregnths and weaknesses will work together to make us the most bad ass of all parents. 

And last, but not least, our marriage is the time we spend together, doing whatever it is we are doing, talking about the future, about work, about friends, about family and realizing that we are perfectly imperfect for eachother. 

I have certainly come out of this 5 years more fully understanding what a marriage is, and seeing much more clearly my faults and my weaknesses, and the things I need to work on to be a better person. I can also see how far I have come in so many way since being with David, and can also see the ways he has grown as well. I know it is gonna sound awful, but when we got married, I wasn't sure we would make it this far. But now that we have, I know that we will make it the distance. We have grown up and into eachother, and we fit so completely well, that it is impossible for us to ever be anything but us. 

The End.

1 comment:

Stephanie J. Hoyt said...

#1: I like this post
#2: I was thinking of all the ways we've all changed in 5 years and Pete just looked over at the photo of with the grooms cake and said "I still never figured out what that cake was all about." And it sounded very much like a Pete thing to say, like he would've said that exact same thing 5 years ago prolly. So in some ways we stay the same.
#3: I miss you